J.S. Park: Question: Fighting Off That Stress

jspark3000:

Anonymous asked:

Hello! How are you doing? I wanna say, thanks for answering people’s questions and concerns on here. I was wondering how you deal with stress. I’ve been more stressed lately than I have been in a while, and it’s starting to affect me physically. I’m continuously praying because the effects are scaring me, and I’ve already set up a doctor’s appointment. If you have any tips on dealing with stress and trusting God through it, I would appreciate it greatly. Thanks, and God bless!

 

Thanks for the awesome question and for your very kind words.

You know, I’ve heard plenty of teaching on stress and I’m a Psych major, so mostly I hear the same thing: “Are you stressed? Well, stop it.”

But I know that doesn’t help. It also doesn’t help to try that same technique on anger, lust, greed, jealousy, grief, or loneliness. It’s like trying to stop a bus with your body weight.

The other thing I hear is, “If you really knew the peace of Christ, you wouldn’t be stressed out.” I wish it was that simple. Even when Jesus and I are most tight, I still get anxious like crazy.

The thing is: Stress is completely unavoidable. I think people tend to get stressed about getting stressed, as if somehow they “shouldn’t be if they’re in Christ.” But with all the demands, deadlines, and due dates of life, it’s completely understandable that you’d feel an anxiety about what needs to be done and what is not done.

That’s just life. Half the battle of fighting stress is to simply anticipate your bodily changes and to recognize what is happening. That’s true with temptation, with conflict, with fear of the future. To be able to say, “Here it is. The pressure’s on. Body is freaking out, right on time.” And then the other half of the battle is to move forward anyway.

 

There is plenty of practical stuff I could say here. You probably already know about —

- To-Do Lists

- to have some kind of a written planner

- to have a mentor or an understanding friend

- to find stress-relieving activities like exercise or drawing or skydiving or sword-fighting

— to prioritize your tasks with what’s most time-sensitive (do stuff that’s due soon now, don’t do stuff now that’s due later)

— to not look at tasks from left to right, but front to back (because a stack of dominos left to right will psychologically overwhelm you, but from front to back means you take care of things one at a time like a deck of cards)

— and to foster good habits like taking a scheduled break or jogging the same time everyday or using mouthwash (because good habits foster other good habits).

Yet even all these only reduce the stress – you’ll still need to push forward with the task at hand. The cool thing though is that very act of starting your priorities will undo a lot of the anxiety, because the human mind releases tension as it moves forward into tangible action. That’s a lot of fancy talk to say: Start anywhere, but just start.

 

About prayer: You’re totally right to pray, and even “secular prayer” or a time of meditation is known to have positive effects on the body. But prayer, as we all know, is hardly a fix-all or genie or magical potion. That’s not even the point of it.

What I would also pray about is asking God “WHY.” Why am I doing this right now? Why is this so important to me? Why am I stressing about this?

I know that sounds overly existential, but I believe when you spend time with questions of why, you’ll be able to 1) re-affirm your purpose in Christ to move forward with God’s call on your life and 2) downgrade things that are not so important in your life.

There are TONS of stuff we do that have no other point besides routine or indulgence or extra layers, which we could all cut from our life with little loss. Knowing where to say NO will cut unnecessary stress.

To name some examples: Christians sometimes write daily in a journal, as if this is just as important as reading the Bible. But “journaling” is not for everyone, and if it stresses you out, don’t do it. Sometimes we make a huge deal about making our bed perfect, or studying every scribble of lecture notes for the exam, or knowing someone’s whereabouts at all times, or being a Nazi whenever someone is late to a meeting or praise team practice or worship service.

Prayer can help you sort through these things to see what’s critical in light of eternity. The longer you spend in, “Our Father, who is in Heaven, hallowed be your name …” then the more your relationship with God and with people will take the main stage in your heart.

 

A last thing: As I said before, stress is often caused by seeing what needs to be done and seeing what is not done. So to close this gap, some of us become perfectionists. We become high-stress because of a need to make things perfect, even when we know it’s killing us.

Then stress becomes a means to conform reality to our desire, as if stress will somehow bend things into shape. While there is such thing as “good stress” (called eustress in psychology), most likely we feel distress. There might be a death-grip for control that you’ll need to let go of each day.

Let’s accept some imperfection. It’s absolutely right to strive for your best, but we’re called to trust God with the results. When I let go of expecting perfect results, that actually cuts most of my anxiety immediately. It also allows me to love people for who they are instead of how I’m trying to mold them.

I had to remember too that all the results are always in God’s control. Not were, not will be, not can be, but are. On one hand that’s a little maddening, but on the other hand – I can relax.

I can stop trying to squeeze everything into my will. I can let go of stressing myself into a twitchy neurotic mess. I can repent from the hostility of being so controlling. If God is in control – and He is – then I don’t have to be. Since He’s good and all-knowing and He loves me, then when things go bad, He’s still good, and He will work it out for my good. It does not mean I won’t be stressed, but it does mean that no matter how stressed I am, He’s still in control.

I’ll throw you a prayer. Love you, my friend, and so does He.

— J.S.

This helps explain, plan and show how to deal with stress =)

FROM LEE IN TENNESSEE: Take Heart!

leeyounger:

Here’s a quick thought for your day:

One thing I love about the Christian walk is that Jesus doesn’t give you a bunch of sunshine and roses optimism designed to make you feel good that actually has no basis in reality. He doesn’t say to you, “Cheer up! This isn’t really all that bad.” or, “Look on the bright side, this can’t last forever.” or, “At least it can’t get any worse.” In fact, Jesus tells us straight-up that we will have problems and troubles. He doesn’t try to protect our feelings from the truth. He doesn’t lie to make us feel more comfortable or safe. 

What’s more, Jesus tells us that not only will we face problems, but that we’re not even strong to enough to handle them! Jesus doesn’t say, “You’re going to run into some trials today, but you’re so tough and mature that you’ll probably be just fine.” Ha! Jesus tells us we’re going to face hard times and then lets us know in the same breath that we don’t have what it takes to navigate those hard times. I love how honest He is, because it makes me feel better about the fact that I don’t have any earthly idea how to face these things! I’m headed for trouble and I am too weak and unprepared to handle it. What now?! 

That’s where Jesus comes in. See, this is not the kind of religion where someone tells you everything’s fine when it really sucks, and it’s not the kind of deal where someone tells you how truly amazing you are when you’re really struggling quite a bit. It’s the kind of thing where the leader of the deal says, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 

in light of my most recent reblog, as I read the last line, I’m thinking of Jesus as challenge accepted guy and going ‘Chyeah’ …

Unka Glen: Fearful Christianity is weak Christianity

unkaglen:

defeatisnolongeranoption asked: Do you think some things take longer for God to forgive than other things? And if we keep repeating a sin, I know that’s not repentance, so what happens when we wholeheartedly think it’s the end of a sin habit, and then we slip again?

Unka Glen answered: It’s a good question, but the answer will be hard to hear. Not because it’s bad news, because it’s good news we’re afraid to live with.

Let’s start here: Jesus paid for all sin. He paid for every sin that would ever be committed by anyone and everyone in the future. When you accepted Jesus as your Savior, you accepted that payment for all of your sins, and indeed that’s how you were saved. And as Jesus Himself said from the cross: “it is finished”.

This is as basic a definition of Christianity as you can get, and yet this finished work of grace is really hard to get our minds around. We read, “there is now therefore no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1) and we feel.. well… uncomfortable. I’m still a sinner, so where’s my punishment? Jesus paid it. What are the eternal consequences of the sin I commit after I’m saved? None, Jesus paid it. 

This is almost impossible for us to live with, and our minds start to twist and stretch good doctrine around to fit our mentality that there must be consequences. For some of us, this is the only way the world makes sense.

To be sure, there are physical consequences to sin, steal often enough, and you’ll go to jail. Lie often enough and you’ll lose friends. Go down the wrong path far enough and yes, the Lord may put a certain physical blessing on hold until you’re ready for it. Not so much as a punishment, you understand, but because a blessing you’re not ready for is, in fact, a curse.

But these physical consequences are not enough for us, we fear a punishment and we feel this makes us better people. For Heaven’s sake, what would we have, if we took away the fear of punishment? We’d just run around doing whatever we wanted. We’d be sinning and not caring about it! 

But why don’t we take a moment and put this thought to the test? Let’s compare a fearful Christian to a Christian who is thankful for grace. A fearful Christian, for example, isn’t giving it their all, they’re doing just enough to avoid punishment, which I must tell you isn’t much at all. A thankful Christian goes the extra mile.

A fearful Christian will run away from God when they commit a habitual sin to avoid the punishment that must be soon to follow. A thankful Christian clings to God not knowing or caring if they’ve been rejected. A fearful Christian is focused on themselves and keeping their own butt out of trouble, a thankful Christian is focused on God, on His grace, His love, His amazing patience, His goodness, and believe me, that Christian is devoted.

To me, it’s no contest, fearful Christianity is weak Christianity.

So, what happens when we sin, and repent, and then screw up all over again? Well I guess it depends on what kind of Christian you are. If you’re that fearful Christian, you tell yourself that you’re not really forgiven, and that God’s grace is slow in coming, and that you’re the exception to all that Bible stuff, and that your eternal soul is now in jeopardy, and somehow it’s up to YOU (not Jesus) to get it back on track.

If you’re a thankful Christian then it’s simple: you get your narrow butt back up on that horse. You ride that thing ‘til it bucks you off, and then you get your narrow butt back up there again, and you keep doing it, until that horse learns who’s the boss. You keep fighting the good fight against the sin than entangles you and holds you hostage.

It’s not fun, or pleasant, but you remember that Jesus paid for this sin, so the least you can do is try to overcome it. You remember that Jesus hasn’t given up on you, so who are you to give up on yourself?

FROM LEE IN TENNESSEE: It's Okay To Cry - A Quick Thought On Depression

yep. And it’s really cool how God also provides people in our lives to talk with too.

leeyounger:

I’ve been getting a lot of questions and messages about depression lately, and I wanted to make a couple of really broad-stroke comments for all my brothers and sisters out there who are struggling with sadness:

It’s okay to cry. 

It’s okay to struggle. 

It’s okay to scream and lash out. 

It’s perfectly okay to be completely honest about your emotions.

Sometimes Christians think that you can’t be honest about how you feel when you are really down because life with Jesus is supposed to be about triumph and joy. And don’t get me wrong - Jesus did come to give us life to the full, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to suffer or struggle. Sometimes you get down and that’s okay. Sometimes you will be confused, caught off guard and unable to cope and that’s okay.

The question is, what are you supposed to do when you do feel that way?

Some Christians would tell you that you’re supposed to just suck it up, put on a smile and just sing “Hallelujah, praise the Lord!” But I don’t think the Lord would tell you that. The example that those Christians would give you would be Job, who lost everything in one day, including all of his children in a massive disaster and famously said, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” - But wait! Before Job ever gets to the worship part, he got up, tore his robes and shaved his head. Now, if you don’t know, tearing robes was a sign of absolute emotional unrest and distress. Calm people don’t tear their clothes. This wasn’t a ritual. It was a man on the brink of emotional collapse. He was furious. He was confused. He was unhinged to the core. The man grabbed his own collar and destroyed his garments by brute force and then shaved his head. He was extremely upset. 

The thing I want you to know is that two verses later, the narrator tells us that in all this, Job did not sin. You see that? This emotional honesty was right on the money and it enabled Job to get to the place of trust and worship. Job’s worship was remarkable not because He put a good face on his suffering, but because He gave full vent to his pain and then worshiped God in the honesty of his pain and confusion.

If you’re depressed, you’re not sinning. Tell God how you feel. Tell Him everything. God is not afraid of your emotions. God is no stranger to your heart. He already knows every twist and turn better than you do. You will never really get to the place of worship until you have first been honest about how you feel. Start there. Tell God everything, and when you have said it all, you’ll be ready to listen.

Unka Glen's Citadel of Enlightenment: God's plan for you. And your resulting freakout.

unkaglen:

kyrapendley asked: Hey unkaglen! So I hope this isn’t an odd question to ask, but when you were called to ministry, did it ever freak you out at all that you knew God had plans for you? Like, I know that God has called me and I know that alot of my inhibitions are the enemy trying to…